Tales of Brave Ulysses

Gateway tech support

2008-11-24T08:32:00.006-06:00

I am coming out of Blogger retirement to share this with the Internet. The following is an actual transcript of an online chat with Gateway technical support for a call about a new Gateway monitor with on-screen static. I have edited only the names. I will let you draw your own conclusions about their efficacy:

GATEWAY: Thank you for contacting technical support. My name and badge number are [edited out]. Please hold while I review your issue.

GATEWAY: Hi. According to your submission and my data, the serial number for your Gateway system is [SN] and the limited warranty expiration date is 11/6/2009. Is this correct?

ME: The serial number is correct. I don't know when the limited wty expires.

GATEWAY: Thank you for verifying your information.

GATEWAY: You mentioned that your monitor have a static and shimmers. Is this correct?

ME: Yes

GATEWAY: Can you tell me exactly when this started and describe any changes you made around that time?

ME: This started this morning. There were no changes made last night that I know of. The video driver was not updated.

GATEWAY: What troubleshooting steps have you already tried?

ME: I have turned the monitor off and on again. I have plugged the monitor into another computer to make sure the problem wasn't in the video card. The same issue presents itself with the other computer. I have tried lowering the resolution setting. Nothing had any effect.

GATEWAY: Can you please provide your computer model.

ME: It's a Dell inspiron 530

GATEWAY: Is that the model of your monitor?

ME: No, that's the model of the computer. You asked for the computer model.

GATEWAY: Can you please verify.

ME: Verify what?

GATEWAY: The computer model.

ME: The computer is a Dell inspiron 530. The monitor is a Gateway.

GATEWAY: Can you please verify the serial number of your monitor.

ME: I did that already. [SN]. It's on the back.

GATEWAY: Okay.

GATEWAY: I suggest that you need to reseat your video card or reinstall the driver.

ME: It's not the video card. Like I told you, I plugged the monitor into another computer and the same problem presented.

GATEWAY: Please hold.

GATEWAY: Thank you for holding.

GATEWAY: It seems that we need to service repair your monitor.

ME: So I need to take it back to the retail store. I've had it for less than 2 weeks.

GATEWAY: Yes you can replace it.

GATEWAY: They will replace your monitor. [No they won't; it's discontinued]

ME: Is this a common problem with the model I purchased?

GATEWAY: No

GATEWAY: Is there any other concern that I can assist you with?

ME: No

GATEWAY: It was a pleasure working with you. My name and badge number are G[edited out]. Thank you for using Gateway Remote Assistance and have a great day.

I've been tagged!

2007-09-28T18:06:00.001-05:00

Well, you can move out to the suburbs, but the gangs follow you. Fortunately, the gang members in my neighbor- hood haven't caught on to the whole thug culture thing yet. But, apparently, they are tagging. I was going to water the dead grass in my yard when I noticed this message spray painted on the side of my house. "Hi," yourself. Next time maybe you can meet my friends, Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson.

Spy Show Themes at the Symphony

2007-09-03T08:23:00.000-05:00

Hi all,

I know at least one person who says he is still checking this blog to see what I've been up to, and of course there have been no updates in a while. So today I'll write about last night.

Yesterday I was looking for something to do and saw that the Houston Symphony was doing a concert dedicated to James Bond: Relive the music of James Bond through songs like 'Goldfinger', 'You Only Live Twice', and 'Diamonds are Forever'. Your fingers will also click to spy-themed favorites like 'Mission Impossible' and 'Pink Panther'. Spy shows had the best music, so I decided to go. (Although I don't think the Pink Panther is a spy-themed favorite.) I didn't buy a ticket online because sometimes if there are unsold seats you can buy them cheap with a student ID at the box office. When I got to Jones Hall and stood in line, a gentleman came up and asked the lady behind me if she needed a ticket because he had an extra one to give away. She said no, she had extras and she was in line to try to return them. So I spoke up and told him if he was giving away a ticket I'd be glad to take it! He handed it to me and went inside. I looked at the ticket: ORCHESTRA ROW F. This was an $85 ticket that placed me on the ground floor, six rows from the stage. Even better, I was right in the middle behind the conductor! Best seat in the house, free? To quote one of my daughter's TV shows, "Yay me!"

It turns out most of the Bond themes they played were from the John Barry days, which was fine by me. They opened with the main theme, of course: that attention-grabbing staccato introduction followed by the slow and deliberate swirling of the strings. Then "Goldfinger," another favorite, its luster diminished only slightly by the absence of Shirley Bassey's vocals. Then "You Only Live Twice," which was not great only because the accompaniment was too loud. After the theme from On Her Majesty's Secret Service and "Diamonds Are Forever," they played the theme from Batman (the movie, not the TV show!), the "Love Theme from Superman," and the theme from the Spider-Man movies, all of which were excellent. After intermission we heard some Henry Mancini music: Clouseau's theme, the Pink Panther title music, and a medley of Peter Gunn and Mr. Lucky. (How could anyone not love the Peter Gunn theme? The Mancini tunes were a big hit with the audience; I think a Mancini-themed concert would do well.) After a spotlight performance by a new violinist from Bulgaria, it was back to Bond for some music from Casino Royale and the big finish: a medley of themes including "The Spy Who Loved Me," "Live and Let Die," the "Raid on Fort Knox" from Goldfinger, and the title them from Thunderball. The show closed with the theme from Mission Impossible. It was great fun and I'm glad I went.

It's the economy, stupid!

2007-05-27T11:23:00.001-05:00

Well I haven't posted anything in a while...

I've been working at the new IT job for about a month now, and I still don't feel like I've settled into the role. I've been on a couple of minor projects but they've been focused on providing documentation... other than one minor troubleshooting issue, I haven't had to actually DO anything yet. They want me to be the go-to guy for Exchange 2007 so that's what I've been spending all my time with. They are paying me a good wage, with great benefits and even an allowance for my cell phone. Brilliant!

What about the law degree? I know, I know. The attorneys at the Firm are giving me a hard time about not working at a law firm. They say I should "strike while the iron is hot" and say I'm throwing my career away for not taking a job with less than half the pay. They say I need to pay my dues. Well. I worked 18 weeks of unpaid internships and worked a midnight shift doing document review for peanuts. All I have to show for it are a stack of letters from firms saying I have a nice resume but their needs have already been met through their summer interns, etc. So don't call me a quitter, call me a rational maximizer. Hopefully I'll find a way to combine my IT background with the law degree, but in the meantime I've got student loans to pay!

I passed!

2007-05-05T10:38:00.000-05:00

The Texas Bar Exam results were posted around 1:00 pm on Thursday, May 3. They post a list of passing exam takers on their web site. They don't post the fail list, but if your name's not on the pass list, well, then, you know. Results were due out Friday, but sometimes the list is published early. I had spent all day Wednesday and Thursday morning checking the site. Sometimes I would get obsessive and press F5 a dozen times, refreshing the page. I suspect a lot of other people did the same thing because the hit counter went crazy. I was attending a class that day and paying much more attention to the web site than I was to what the instructor was saying. We took a break for lunch and after some really good (and free) pizza, I checked again and the link to the pass list was up.

After the list came up, I jumped up and went outside to call everyone and let them know. People keep asking me how much I passed by, and I don't know. The pass list is just that--a pass list. Scores come in the mail sometime later. Someone sent me a contratulations text message, but I didn't know the number. So I wrote back a "Thanks!"

Status: Employed!

2007-04-20T13:40:00.000-05:00

I just accepted a new, full-time position with a computer job, starting Monday. I'm also going be doing drafting part-time for the Firm that I used to work for. In this way I'll make money, keep one foot in each career field (computers & legal), and hopefully find a way to merge these two at some point in time. I'm very happy to be going back to work, and the company seems like good people. So we'll see. I'd drink the champagne I bought for New Year's, but I'm saving it for the bar exam results. Either way it goes, I'll feel like a drink. Heh.

Playing the waiting game

2007-04-17T03:09:00.000-05:00

The document review job is dying a fitful death. Last week we only worked three days. We did work Monday, but then they told us not to come in tomorrow unless they called first. Sheesh. I need something more steady, even if it is temp work.

Bar results in T-16 or 17 days. Those of us who are working late nights on document review aren't as thrilled as the Fortunate Sons who are at the big firms and can expect a champagne party and a bonus when their results come in (but we're not bitter!) Honestly at this point I'm more looking forward to Spider-Man III coming out (same day as the bar results are scheduled to be released).

I have a nibble on a computer training gig for next week. Details to follow, if that nibble turns into a byte. (Hey. It's computer humor. That's as good as it gets.)

Update: False alarm. They found someone local. But they were impressed with my resume and they'll keep me in mind. If I had a nickel...

Status

2007-04-03T08:57:00.000-05:00

The interview with the computer company went pretty well, I thought. The person doing the interviewing is the immediate supervisor, but I don't think he has any hiring authority. The boss was out of town, of course. So I have to wait to see whether they will make me an offer. They said I'd probably hear something on Wednesday. I'll call him Thursday if I haven't heard back.

Meanwhile I'm still burning up that midnight oil. As of today, the contract job is projected to end next Friday.

Update: I went ahead and called them today and they said while no decision had been made, most likely they would wait a little longer. They are starting a new fiscal year and doing budgets, and the sales people need to firm up some of the upcoming projects. They said it would be another week or two, but I was "at the front of the line." Just as well, the document review job is scheduled to last about that long.

Miscellaneous

2007-03-30T15:21:00.000-05:00

This morning I sort of got into it with the ill-prepared one. She was saying free healthcare was a bad idea because it would encourage the underpriviliged to be unhealthy. She says they would be less likely to take care of themselves because they knew they could go to the doctor whenever they wanted to. So, I observed, the poor should be the most healthy class of society because they're motivated by their inability to afford medical care, right? It's the stupidist thing I've heard in a while. Mind you, this person is licensed to practice law.

However, she might never practice law. She's going to a jobfair for an area school district; she's considering teaching middle school. Why? It pays better than the lawyer jobs she's found. Hard to believe? Check out this gem from the UH job board:

Description: Personal injury law firm has entry level position available. No experience necessary. Bilingual (English/Spanish) a must. Class ranking irrelevant.
Location: Texas - Houston area
Position Type: Associate Attorney
Practice Area(s): Personal Injury
Desired Class Level(s): Graduate/Alumni
Salary Range: 30,000 - 39,999

Yikes! Whoever takes that job will no doubt end up leaving for a better opportunity, like assistant manager of a Pizza Hut or a Starbucks!

Whlie I haven't completely given up, I have set up an interview with an IT consulting company for Monday morning after my shift. You gotta do what you gotta do.

On the Nightshift

2007-03-27T15:04:00.000-05:00

Gonna be some sweet sounds coming down
On the nightshift.

I'm doing the graveyard shift again, but they let us listen to music with headphones so I brought some CDs. One of the women who comes in is perpetually ill-prepared. Last time she didn't bring a lunch. Today she had headphones but no CDs. So let her borrow from mine. I used to travel and when I would visit a country I would pick up CDs of the pop music in the country at the time (I recommend that to all you travellers. It's so much better than a stupid knick-knack you'll throw in a drawer.) So. She's looking through my CDs. She holds up Hisham Abbas. "What's this?" Egyptian pop. She tries another one. "Oh... What about this one?" Mor ve Ötesi. "OK..." She took The Who.

The work isn't bad; I just sift through documents deciding which folder to dump them in. The only problem is that the two supervisors seem to have different criteria for what goes where. TweedleDee says, "Put those in folder A." Then TweedleDum comes up to me and says, "Why are you putting those in folder A? They obviously go in folder B!" I'm not used to being confronted by Office Space scenarios. At the tech company, my dealings with management were pretty much limited to scheduling and strategizing company focus. So here I am wondering how to proceed. Do I just say, "Sorry, you're right. How stupid of me?" Or do I blame Tweedledee? Will that get me on Tweedledee's bad side? Or do I need him now that TweedleDum thinks I'm a moron? School does not prepare you for this.

OK, here's one for you. Is this picture from a legal services company or a J.C. Penney's catalog? It's the former. What do you think? I'm not sure I would want to be a part of this team. They look like the Cheetah Girls trying to do Boston Legal. See? Chanel thinks she's Bill Shatner. Alternatively, the skewed angles remind me of a U2 album cover. They always look like they are milling about in different directions too. Lawyers like the word "alternatively."

Very Temp!

2007-03-20T21:15:00.000-05:00

My temp job was so temp!
How temp was it?
It was so temp, they called me six hours after I ended my first day, to tell me they had run out of work for the time being and I should expect to take the rest of the week off.

That gives me the rest of the week to find a day job.

Temp work!

2007-03-19T10:16:00.000-05:00

The agency I interviewed with on Thursday has a document review project that is running 24 hours a day. They need people for the night shift, from midnight to 8:00 a.m. I told her I would take it. She said, "You don't sound too sure. Why don't you think about it?" She's probably right; I'm sure I didn't sound thrilled. But I told her there was nothing to think about; I would be there. I'm not sure how long it will last--she said it could be a week or a month. I figure if I sleep in the mornings, I will still have the afternoons and evenings free. I'll let you know how it goes.

An event I don't plan to attend

2007-03-19T07:47:00.000-05:00

The University of Houston Law Center is hosting a Business and Industry Table Talk Attendee Information tomorrow, but it isn't sounding very useful. Of the 23 attending companies, 13 have no positions to offer at all: "attending talk to give information only; no open positions anticipated." Of those that offer internships, only three of them are even legal positions. The rest are sales, financial services, and other things that don't even require being a licensed attorney. I'm not too excited about going to talk to companies who aren't hiring about the non-legal work I could be doing if they were hiring, which they're not. If I go, I can talk to New York Life about being an insurance agent(!) and Exxon is looking for an intern for 2008 to put in a position that's not even in the legal department.

Jobsearch...

2007-03-15T16:35:00.000-05:00

Today I am of a mind to pillory a pillock or two.

While looking for legal work, I started running a parallel job search for contract IT training. Microsoft has a message board for certified instructors. Sometimes a broker will post a message seeking bids for contract training. Most of them are for developer training, which isn't my expertise. Some of them are admin classes, but the messages depress me because I don't know how to answer them. Take these gems:

I need 2 individuals that is familiar with Longhorn. Are you skilled? Then I need to talk to you. This is your chance to work with Microsoft and make history.

Make history? Is he kidding? "Dear Sir: I is familiar with Longhorn. I have nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, and computer hacking skills. Let's make some history!"

Or how about this one:

I need a instructor for a SQL Querying class. It is in sunny, Tampa, FL. So, if you want to be where the sun is then this is the assignment. The class ... is a custom SQL class. So, you get three days of fun in the sun.

There's SQL 2000 and SQL 2005. For that matter, there's also Oracle SQL and mySQL. Which one do they want? The ad says it's 'customized' but it doesn't say in what respect. And what's with three days of fun in the sun? Is that the customization? Is the class to be held outside?

Moody Gardens

2007-03-13T23:13:00.000-05:00

My daughter wanted to take a trip for her spring break, but I didn't want to go too far, so we spent two days on Galveston Island. (Those of you who sent birthday money last month, some of it went on this much-needed trip!) For those who don't recognize Moody Gardens from the picture above, it's an education and entertainment complex. The main attractions are three pyramids; the blue one is an aquarium, the clear one is a rainforest, and the red one showcases different hands-on exhibits for younger kids. We got some good pictures of the wildlife. I'm posting some here:

Silver or Gold?

2007-03-10T17:37:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I picked up one of the new Washington dollars at the local bank. Yes, I know that there are probably about 125 million other people who will be collecting them. Still. I can't help but squirrel one away. One thing has confused me, though. I thought they were supposed to be gold, like the Sacagawea dollars. And some of the "error" dollars on eBay look gold. Mine is silver; the color of a dime. Are they supposed be be silver, gold, or both? I just spent an hour looking online for an explanation, but I can't find one. I suppose I have more important things to worry about, but this is my issue of the moment.

Decompression

2007-03-05T20:05:00.000-06:00

In case you're wondering what I've been up to since the bar exam, well, Friday I came back to Houston. Saturday I attended an informational meeting on starting an independent practice. Sunday I bought a diploma frame and saw Wild Hogs, and today I started cleaning up as I've been promising to do. It's nice to have no assigned reading! A few of us have been emailing back and forth about the exam, and trying to be encouraging and supportive as we settle in for a long wait.

Bar Exam, Day 3

2007-03-02T07:30:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was the last day of the Texas Bar Exam. Six essays in the morning, six in the afternoon. The essays this time were somteimes very different than thay had been in the last few exams. The surprises:

Topics I expected	What it asked for
Corporate directors	LLC members
Holder in due course /transfer warranties	Accord and satisfaction
PMSIs and priority under Art. 9	Repossession and sale
Child support or custody	Community property (2x)
A tough wills question	An easy wills question
Oil & gas royalties	Pooling

From what I gather by talking to other test-takers, the accord and satisfaction question threw everyone for a loop. We spent so much time making sure we knew what would happen with things like purchase-money security interests in inventory that when we got to the question that asked "Was there an accord and satisfaction?" we all gave a collective "Huh?"

Sometimes the questions were so direct and straightforward that people didn't believe the test takers' recitation of the facts and included what the result would be in other scenarios, just in case the question's author was lying about the facts. Example: H marries W1. He takes out a life insurance policy and names W1 the beneficiary. They have no children. They later divorce, and H marries W2. H doesn't change the policy, but he does make a will that leaves the life insurance money to W2. H dies. Who gets the insurance money? OK, where's the adoption by estoppel, the pretermitted child, the 20-year-old stranger claiming to be H's child, born from H's indiscretion? Where's the holographic will written in a state that doesn'gt recognize holographic wills, but brought to Texas? It wasn't there! So some people made it up. "If H had children..." as if it mattered. No, I didn't do that.

After the exam, those of us who went through law school together walked over to the Spaghetti Warehouse for dinner. Everyone said they were glad it was over, and how we would all see each other at the swearing-in ceremony in May, which seems like a loong way off.

Bar Exam, Day 2

2007-02-28T17:18:00.000-06:00

Today we had the Multistate Performance Test--the same one taken by almost every wannabe-lawyer in the country. It's a grueling 200-question monster of an exam. And while PMBR and Bar-Bri try to prepare you, it honestly doesn't matter how many practice questions you do. Ultimately, there will be some you think you got right, some you think you got wrong, and a lot where you just don't know.

I finished both the morning and afternoon sessions with 30 minutes to spare, so I had time to go back over some questions here are there. Changed a couple. I had lunch with a couple of other examinees and they said they were close to panicked about the morning exam, but I honestly didn't feel that way. Not that I think I aced it. They way they write the questions, so many of them can be misleading. Anyway, I'm putting it behind me and turning to my last-minute study notes on essay topics. There are 12 essays in all. You get six essays in the morning and three hours to complete them. That's 30 minutes per question. The day will fly by.

Bar Exam, Day 1

2007-02-27T14:05:00.000-06:00

Last night I couldn't sleep (they told me that would happen) and I finally got up about 1:00 am and watched about a half an episode of Monk. The mattress hurts my back, and I've thinking wistfully of those Doubletree(?) "get a good night's rest" commercials. The morning began with a "contenental breakfast" of some terrible coffee and a banna-nut muffin. I think.

The first thing people probably want to know is "how was it?" And I can say that it was about what I expected. The first part of the test was the multistate performance test, in which we are assigned a task to perform. It was a memo. I think I did OK on it but I was running out of time and had to cut it short. Everyone was typing right up until the end. Well, except for one guy whose computer seemed to have issues and the Examsoft geeks in attendance couldn't fix. He had to hand-write his answer. A few other people had problems with it as well, but I guess those were resolved since he was the only one I saw handwriting.

Then they brought out the Texas Procedure and Evidence portion. I knew most of the answers, and made wild guesses on a couple. Probably the same as everyone else. I came out of there feeling more hungry than beat down, and I was hoping some of the people I knew there would want to get lunch. I was disappointed no one lingered to talk about lunch plans. Everyone ran out of there for points unknown.

So I drove around. Some of you remember I lived in Austin for a couple of years, but that was in the 1980s. I don't remember my way around that well. I drove around looking for a restaurant, I wasn't finding anything on the interstate, so I used the force and followed my instinct. It led me to a Chinese buffet on a small hill that I had forgotten about.

Ever since I signed up for the laptop exam I kept getting emails and letters from the Board of Law Examiners. They would tell me "You no longer need a floppy drive to take the laptop exam." Then you read down and it says "bring your laptop, power cord, mouse, and floppy drive." Wha? So when I got there I asked them. Official position: you don't need it.

Tomorrow is the multiple-choice portion. It covers six topics (seven if you count criminal procedure separately from criminal law). The questions are supposed to be randomly mixed among the topics but from what I hear I should expect an easier morning of criminal questions and torts, then a killer afternoon of lengthy contracts and property questions. I can already tell you that I will have no idea how I do on those. You can think your answer couldn't possibly be wrong, and yet be wrong! I'll look over some of it after a nap.

I know this is a somewhat random and cranky post; I'll try to do better tomorrow!

Bar Exam, Day 0

2007-02-26T16:00:00.000-06:00

I arrived in Austin about 2:30--excellent timing, since traffic is still pretty manageable. It's very hot here and it's not even March yet! The hotel is seedy, but about what you'd expect for being $50 a night downtown. You can measure the quality of a hotel by the restaurant the guests* walk to for dinner. Fine hotels, you take the elevator to the top floor restaurant. Good hotels, you take the elevator to the ground floor restaurant. Decent hotels, you go the the Shoney's or Denny's across the parking lot. Looks like I will be eating at CVS Pharmacy. There is also a Wendy's on the way back from the Convention Center, and a BBQ place I probably won't try. And there's alsways pizza delivery!

There was some drama as I was unloading the car. On one trip, I got to the door and when I tried to open it, the sliding latch somehow caught onto the door and I was locked out! So I had to go get management, and they had some kind of forked prybar thing that they used to get the door open. So now I am able to get into the room, but I don't feel so safe with the sliding latch on the door anymore!

I am eight blocks from the Austin Convention Center and I've already made a dry run, so I know where I'm going and where I'm supposed to park. They told us in an email that we would be pretty much on our own for lunch, and that there were restaurants all around the Convention Center. Not that I saw. There are a couple of fine hotels right beside the convention center; I'm sure they have restaurants inside them (where the lunch menu starts at $25, no doubt). There is one other restaurant beside the Convention Center, and I imagine it will be packed the next three days. It's a little fancier than I would want to do this week but I may not have a choice.

How am I feeling? OK. Not panicked. I have plenty of time to review the civil and criminal procedure outlines before tomorrow, and tomorrow I'll have a half-day to review for the multistate. It's enough time to go over the things I know are rough areas and do the short-term memorizing thing.

*For MBE purposes, of course, I am not a guest. I am an invitee, and the management owes me a duty to inspect and warn of any dangerous conditions... Sorry, just practicing. :-P

Freaking out now...

2007-02-24T11:13:00.000-06:00

Today I was going through the Bar-Bri model answers to the essay questions from the 2006 Texas Bar exams. Then I thought maybe it would be a good idea to take a look at the bar examiner's published comments, which they post after every exam. For each essay, they make general comments on the quality of the answers and point out common mistakes.

Imagine my consternation to find that sometimes the Bar-Bri answers ARE WRONG. Now I'm very unhappy. I'll provide two quick examples from July 2006:

No. 10 says there is a divorce and are several things in dispute [that goes without saying], and the only evidence adduced at trial relating to them is as follows: before they divorced, Wife's Mother conveyed Blackacre by deed: "For good and valuable consideration, Mother does hearby grant, sell, and convey unto Wife, as her sole and separate property and estate, Blackacre." Husband claims Blackacre is community property because it was conveyed during the marriage. Is it community property?

Bar-Bri launches into a big discussion about whether Blackacre was a gift or a sale of property, and if it was a sale whether the funds used were separate or community proeprty. The answer discusses what she would have to prove to make it separate property. But the Examiners say that would be a WRONG answer because the question stated that this info was the only evidence adduced at trial! So you can't worry about what other evidence there could have been; just make a decision based on the facts provided. (I would say community property because it was acquired during the marriage and there is a presumption of community property. She hasn't proved it was separate!).

No. 12 says that X conveyed Blackacre to Y, reserving one-half of the royalty under any present or future mineral lease. Y conveys Blackacre to Z, reserving 1/4 royalty, but does not mention X. Sooo... who has what? Bar-Bri that the Duhig doctrine didn't apply, but the Grader says it did! "Many examinees did not seem to recognize that Y conveyed a greater interest than he owned and did not correctly apply the Duhig doctrine."

Argh!

Horoscope

2007-02-22T19:15:00.000-06:00

My phone gives me a text message horoscope every day. Usually it's completely nonsensical and I would stop the messages if I could find the option on a menu. But today's was nice: Brain and muscle memory are sharp. You retain all the data. Names, faces, and stats match easily. You're poised for your next big victory.

Commencement?

2007-02-21T16:41:00.000-06:00

The Law Center is gearing up for the annual commencement ceremony. We got an announcement about it via email. They want me to pay $90 to rent a "Tam, gown, and hood." I didn't even know what a tam was until I just looked it up. Apparently it goes on your head. I would have thought the hood went on my head, but it doesn't. I think I still have my undergrad robe; can I wear that? (No, because it comes with a cap and not a tam!)

We can order invitations, announcements, etc. I'm almost surprised they didn't hit us up for a class ring. In case you can't tell by my general tenor, I'm inclined not to go. But, I don't have to RSVP until the 9th.

Thoughts on attending the ceremony?

T minus 1 week

2007-02-19T08:43:00.000-06:00

Seven days from now I will be going to Austin to sit for the bar exam. For those who don't know, it's about a 3.5 hour drive from Houston to the state capital. They do offer the bar exam in Houston (well, Pasadena), but they only let us type it in Austin. For some reason, they still offer the option of typing the bar exam. On a typewriter, I mean. I imagine someone coming in with a big old Smith-Corona. It would blow their minds. I'll probably go in the early afternoon and get oriented, and then read over the outlines for the Day 1 exam materials.

Of course, this week will be the intensive-study week. Now that the countdown is in the single digits I feel somewhat more motivated. Some people are going on vacation after the bar, but not me! I'll be coming home to catch up on the housework that I've been neglecting since, um, 2003?

And there's that little matter of finding a job. :-]

Awarded.

2007-02-07T15:59:00.000-06:00

That's what the little grey word says in the little grey box. Awarded. This morning it said Pending. But now it says Awarded. Right under the red words Degree Status. That means I'm officially a J.D. w00t! Even though it posted today, they backdated it to December 15, 2006. That's exactly 15 years and two days after I got my undergrad degree. But we won't talk about that! Now I can go back to studying for the bar exam.

We finished the Bar-Bri class up yesterday. Today there is a workshop going on for the Procedure and Evidence essays. I paid the admission but decided not to go because I already had the materials and I could study at home while saving the two hours I would have spent in the car. The Civil Procedure outline is 81 pages. It took me four and a half hours to go through it today. On the exam it will be all of 20 short-answer questions. I would complain but I know I'm in good company. That's the one good thing about classes like Bar-Bri. When you look outside and the sun is shining and you're trying to remember which one is Impleader and which one is Interpleader, it's good to know you're not alone.

Tax Season Woes - Already!

2007-02-04T21:14:00.000-06:00

It's only February but the filing headaches have already begun! I recently got my W2 from my former employer. Where my SSN should be, they listed the first five digits of my phone number. My readers will remember, this company cut another guy and me loose this past summer. When they mailed me my last check back in July, they attached a final statement to it with my YTD income and taxes. Except it wasn't mine, it was the other guy's. Now here comes my jacked-up W2 in the mail. Either they are highly incompetent or they are having fun with me.

Hypothetically, what would happen if I didn't tell them to fix the W2? Could I just pretend that income never happened? Of course the answer is no, because (1) that would be unethical and (2) the IRS would catch on in 2009 and then back-bill me with two years of interest and penalties! In the meantime, would the IRS go after some poor guy whose social security number matched my phone number and ask him for the money? No. No one has that SSN. The first nine digits of my phone number are not a valid SSN yet. It will be issued, years from now, to someone in Ohio. Which brings up an interesting question. What does your SSN mean? How is to derived?

The first three digits of your SSN tell where it was issued. Nowadays it's issued based on the zip code of your mailing address. My phone area code is 281. A SSN 281 prefix is issued to people in Ohio. The second two numbers are a batch number. The 281 group is only on batch 11 now, and my next two digits are much higher than 11. Speaking of SSNs, you can read some interesting but useless trivia on the history of the social security numbers, including who had 001-01-0001 and how much was the first social security benefit check, at this site.

I've got a Golden Ticket

2007-01-31T22:38:00.000-06:00

Well, not really. What I do have is an orange admission ticket to the Texas Bar Exam for February 27. It comes with a letter stating how we are not allowed to bring in anything but earplugs, pencils, pens, etc., in a transparent ziplock bag. We also must be prepared to show our pockets are empty. No backpacks or bags. I'm typing the exam, so I guess I'll have to bring my laptop in without the case.

Today we covered elements of Texas Civil Procedure and I was pleasantly surprised that much of what I needed to know about that was stuff I became familiar with while working part-time for the Firm. I won't get cocky about it, though! Too much other material to worry about.

Just for Fun

2007-01-26T17:35:00.000-06:00

Which person doesn't belong in this grouping, and why?
A no-prize to whomever can tell me! (By the way, it's more substantive than "One of them is wearing a hat!"

Consumer Rights

2007-01-24T14:57:00.000-06:00

Monday we finished up going over the material for the multistate exam and now we are getting into the essay materials. Today we went over consumer rights, and from now on it's pretty much a new essay topic per day. Today was mostly about the Texas and Federal Deceptive Trade Practices Acts. It was all new to me, so I'll be spending the rest of the day going over it. The plan is to spend the evenings reviewing the lecture for that day and maybe doing one or two of the essays. That's the plan. I'll let you know how it goes. After my nap...

Say what?

2007-01-09T21:32:00.000-06:00

After months listening to people talk who sounded like Boomhauer on King of the Hill, I started thinking either the whole world mumbes when they talk or else I've got a hearing problem. So I called around and the University of Houston has a Speech and Hearing Clinic. Normally the fee for a hearing test with them is $200, but since I am currently UNEMPLOYED while studying for the bar exam, I qualified for the indigents' discount.

Now the last time I remember having a hearing test was probably somewhere around 1977. We put on headphones and the school nurse asked us to raise our hands when we heard the tone. That's pretty much what I expected this time. I have absolutely no medical training or knowledge, here is my best attempt at telling you what happened next:

When I got there, the doctor had me sit by a big machine. It had small tubes and wires coming out one side. The doctor attached rubber bulbs to the ends of the tubes and then stuck them in my ears. Then she hit a button, and I could feel the bulbs filling with air. Then I heard a few tones being played. The doctor explained that she was monitoring my eardrums' vibrations in response to the tones and also measuring the physical characteristics of my inner ear. I thought about the eye doctors: "You're going to feel a tiny puff of air..." Pfft! "Ow!" A printout from the computer showed some incomprehensible charts and numbers that she looked over and said "Mm-hmm."

Then she put me in a sound booth and hooked up some mini-headphones to my ears. She gave me a small plastic dealy with a button and told me to press it when I heard a discernable tone. OK. Alternating high and low pitches, each ear. Then she played a recording of a man's voice saying "Say the word ____" followed by different words. I was supposed to repeat the words. I did pretty well; I missed two in one ear and one in the other.

At the end of it all she said I was well within the normal range in both ears, but my right ear doesn't hear higher registers quite as well as my left. I was pretty happy to learn I don't show signs of hearing loss. You know what that means, though? All of you do mumble! :-P

Bar-Bri

2007-01-02T21:27:00.000-06:00

The big bad bar review class started today. "Bar-Bri" probably stands for something but I'm too burned out to know or care what it is. It covers every aspect of the Texas Bar Exam (unlike PMBR, which covers only the multistate portion). We had to go to the Bar-Bri offices downtown to pick up a box of books (42 lbs, no lie). Then we went to a Shriner's temple for the class. (Why not distribute the materials at the place where the class is held? Customer service, people!) I think I still have a fez; maybe I'lll wear it tomorrow for extra credit.

The instructor kept things lively and held our attention well considering the dryness of the subject matter (contract formation, acceptance, revocation, etc). This class will be my life for the next 6 weeks or so.

PMBR

2006-12-19T17:07:00.001-06:00

Yesterday I started preparing for the bar exam by taking the PMBR course. The pupose of this six-day class is to prepare you for the Multistate portion of the bar exam. It deals with torts, contracts, criminal law, property, evidence, and Constitutional Law. One subject per day. Since I had lousy professors for Criminal and ConLaw, I'm behind the 8-ball. A lot of people on the Internet speak disparagingly about PMBR and its format. In the mornings you are supposed to take a mock exam on a subject and in the afternoon they go over it with you and talk about what the right answer is, and why the others are wrong. Along the way you end up getting a good overview of the substantive law on the subject of the day. Most of what you hear is also in the book, so a number of people believe the class is a waste of time. You could buy the books on eBay and go over the material yourself. I have to say that this is probably true, but the instructor does add his own material and insights into the analyses and into the exam itself. So I feel like I'm getting a pretty good value. Also, since I'm partly an auditory learner, it helps to be there and listen to him speak. Finally, it's better to sit in a roomful of people who are commiserating with you than to try to go it alone.

Finals

2006-12-09T19:39:00.000-06:00

Finals have been keeping me pretty preoccupied the past couple of weeks. Family Law and Secured Transactions are out of the way, and my last exam is Thursday night. As I explain to people who ask me if I'm excited about being finished with law school, I have to say not really, because I still have the bar exam in late February, and in all honesty that's the only final exam that counts. So in a sense I'm not finished with law school, just finished with Phase I. Phase II is studying for the bar and involves more classes and a reaaaly long final. (Messed up, huh)?

Happy Thanksgiving

2006-11-22T22:26:00.000-06:00

Slowly but surely things are winding down. This week was my last week with the judicial internship. Next week I'm going back to the ex employer to teach Exchange as a contract instructor, and finals start the following week.

My article has been published by the Law Review. I was excited about that. First it showed up on the Lew Review web site, then the hard copies came in a few days later. A couple of days after that the article showed up on the legal research services, Westlaw and Lexis. It's quite gratifying to be able to look yourself up on a service like that, and I'm wondering if in the future I will see anyone citing to my article. It didn't come with a job offer, though!

Speaking of, I asked the Judge to look over my resume and he made a couple of suggested changes. I've made those and I'm going to start sending my resume around after this weekend.

Inmates and 45s

2006-11-08T17:02:00.000-06:00

Yesterday the interns sat in on some Spears hearings at the Darrington Unit, a correctional facility and home to almost 2,000 inmates. Then we took a tour of the prison. This is the third time I've been to such a place, having visited one in Corpus Christi and the one in Huntsville. For some reason prisons all smell like PE locker rooms. A Spears hearing is where the inmate has made some complaint about his treatment and a judge or magistrate comes in and chats with him to help decide whether the claim has any merit or not. That was interesting.

Anyway, on the way back I made the comment that I thought it was stupid and inconsistent for the RIAA to go after music downloaders when everyone used to record things off the radio and no one seemed too worried about that. One of the other interns--who already has his law degree and is finishing up an LLM in Intellectual Property--argued that didn't interfere with an artist's sales like MP3s do. I said sure it did. If you taped it off the radio you didn't have to buy the 45. He didn't know what I meant by that. He didn't know what a 45 was.

I would say complain about feeling older but someone might accuse me of sounding like a broken record. Broken record. Broken record. Broken record....

Mudberry Farms

2006-11-01T10:34:00.000-06:00

Now that Halloween’s over, let me take a little time to tell you about all the Halloween events we did this year. I’ll do it in separate posts. I have more photos but Blogger is being uncooperative and I'll add them later.

Saturday, October 21. Dewberry Farms is a place about 25 minutes west of Houston. Nora had read about it on the internet and wanted to check it out. It certainly sounded interesting—a pumpkin patch, hayrides, activities for kids, and best of all a huge maze made in a corn field. We planned to go: Nora, her son, her sister, her niece, my daughter, and me.

It had been raining, so Nora called ahead to make sure that it wouldn’t be too muddy. They assured us it was fine and to come on out. We asked what time it was closing; they said 9:00 pm. We got there about 5:30. Dewberry Farms is expansive land with some thinly spread activity centers. Right at the entrance there is a ticket office, dining area, and gift shop all connected by a sidewalk. Walking through that area, there’s a moon bounce thing to the immediate left for the smaller kids, and a contraption similar to a swing but with sandbags instead of seats. Further out past that are some upended wooden wheels large enough to stand in. People would get inside and walk back and forth. They looked like hamster wheels. To the right, a sidewalk led to a display of animatronic singing chickens like what you might find in a Chuck E. Cheese. Beyond that is a small bike track with some oversized tricycles for the kids. In the very back are trucks for the hayrides that take people to the pumpkin patch. In between it all, or course, there were patches of mud. Generally people could get around it by carefully choosing our path, but some kids were caked in it so badly they looked like they’d absconded from the Romper Room Health Spa.

The kids went straight for the moon bounce. Then they wanted to try the sandbag swings. But when we got over to them we saw that the ground beneath was covered in thick mud. This added a new dimension to the whole swing experience: if you can’t stay on the sandbag seat, you get a buttfull of mud! So we talked them into going over to the hamster wheels instead. Clearly, I hadn’t thought this through. Walk through mud to stand inside a hamster wheel. Mud gets on the bottom of the hamster wheel. Walk around. The mud rotates to the top of the hamster wheel and falls on your head, and then back to the bottom of the wheel. Walk some more, and the process repeats. Fun!

The girls needed to go to the bathroom to wash mud off themselves, so we went over to the bathrooms. Turns out there were no napkins and no toilet paper. I complained to a man working at the nearby snack area. He was a friendly sort who let me know that he wasn’t surprised, and that there had been a lot of people there that day, and they had been cleaned out. I waited for him to say something like “I’ll send someone to go get these necessary items.” But he didn’t. If we needed toilet paper, it seemed we would have to improvise with something from the corn maze.

In case you hadn’t guessed by now, I was ready to go. But I didn’t want to be a stick in the mud (Ha!) so I mostly kept quiet. We stopped to eat some dinner, and by then it was getting very dark. There were no park lights or anything. People were carrying flashlights. We decided to take a hayride. They informed us the hayrides closed at 6:00. What? We were told everything was open till 9:00! OK, whatever. We walked over to the tricycles. Also closed. We put the girls on the trikes anyway and encouraged them to go ahead and do a lap, if they wanted. A volunteer came running over and telling us this area was closed at 6:00 and we couldn’t let them ride because it was too dark and the farm didn’t want to be liable for any injuries. We complained that we were told everything was open till 9:00 and again, we got the “Who told you that? That’s not right” speech.

Finally, we decided to at least try the maze. That wasn’t closed. We walked over to the entrance to the maze and peered inside. By now it was completely dark. People going into the maze carried flashlights, creating an eerie, uneven light that shifted and moved like a thing alive. By this light we could see that the maze had standing water and deep, soft mud that slurped hungrily at the heels of those foolish enough to wander in. People were sinking into the mud halfway to their knees.

This was too much. We went to the gift shop and complained that (1) we were told everything was open till 9:00, and (2) that there wasn’t going to be mud. I didn’t think to mention the toilet paper issue, but I suppose I should have. They gave us our money back and we went to IHOP for some pancakes and hot coffee.

CLEs and Such

2006-10-26T18:48:00.000-05:00

Sorry it's been so long. I have been very busy with school and work--even though I'm only working part-time now while I finish law school it seems like I have less free time than I did before. And my, how the country's changed in the last couple of weeks! Bush is planning a Berlin Wall and he's done away with habeas corpus! It's pretty hard to believe more people aren't talking about this. This topic hasn't come up since, what, 1862?

Attorneys have to take Continuing Legal Education (CLE) courses. On Saturday I attended my first CLE course--even though I'm not licensed yet, I have a year to turn it in and once I get my license I can turn it in for credit. I'm attending another one tomorrow. Based on the one I took, they're similar to defensive driving, except there's no test at the end. You just sit there for the designated time and listen to the speakers address whatever issues they have. Still, it was new and different enough that I'm looking forward to tomorrow's class.

Fast Times at UH Law

2006-10-04T18:20:00.000-05:00

Remember when Sean Penn ordered a pizza and had it delivered to class? We all laughed at how ridiculous it was that someone would do that. Of course, everyone brings soft drinks to class. Sometimes people bring candy. I never had a problem with that. Right now I'm in Labor Law and a student is eating TAKEOUT CHINESE from Pei Wei. As I sit here, in class, watching her stuff noodles in her mouth with chopsticks, I can't help but wonder if she's crossed a line somewhere. If I was the prof I would throw her out.

End of Law Review

2006-10-01T23:00:00.000-05:00

About 10 minutes ago I finished a major overhaul of the Law Review manual. Hopefully now it is more concise, orderly, and streamlined. This is significant because I am now over the number of hours I am required to work as an associate editor. My paper is going to the printers, and I have finished my obligations as an associate editor. Therefore, I'm done with Law Review. This is the first phase of closure I have reached as I progress towards finishing up. I guess the next milestone will be my Family Law exam in December.

Was Law Review worth it? Worth all the source gathering, cite checking, Member on Duty hours, etc? I'm happy that my paper is being published. But so far being on Law Review has not helped me AT ALL in obtaining any meaningful job offers. And ultimately, that's why people do it, right? So I guess it wasn't worth it. I suppose I'll come back to this and reassess after I start working somewhere. But emotionally? Let's just say I've already moved on.

Minor update...

2006-09-20T18:58:00.000-05:00

I know you are probably wondering what's new. Well... not much. Last week on Tuesday night I got my edited copy of the article that's going to be published in the Law Review. It took me several hours, I'd guess about 20, to go through everything. Some of the 2Ls had added text here and there, and sometimes I liked it, and sometimes I didn't and changed it, and sometimes I just took it back out. I also added some text and about 10 footnotes to bring the text up to date with developments that have occurred within the last 9 months. I finished the updates over the weekend.

In other news, when I signed up to take the bar exam I said I wanted to type the essay portion on a laptop. They do that at the testing center in town. WRONG. In the February bar they only do it in Austin! So when I go take the bar exam in February I'll be taking it in Austin. I already reserved a cheap hotel close to the testing area. It's just as well... a number of people tell me they rent a hotel even when they take it in town because they can get away from the daily madness.

Cheerleaders, a Blind Cashier, and a Temper

2006-09-12T20:14:00.000-05:00

OK, I'm behind in making an update and an anonymous commentor called me on it. I had a few experiences today that are probably blogworthy, so here you go. An update:

First one: I park about two blocks from the federal courthouse at the Hobby Center. For any readers who don't know, it's a performing arts center at the edge of downtown. Usually I arrive around 7:00 am, but today I was running late because of traffic(8:30-ish). As I drove around to the parking garage I saw lots of people gathered around the front of the Hobby Center... I have no idea what they were there for but I think they were high school kids. After I parked and walked around, I was confronted by a line of cheerleaders who greeted me with shaking pompoms and cheers. Now I can't be sure, but probably they thought I was someone else. I didn't mind. I rather liked having a peanut gallery. It made me think of those commercials--I can't remember exactly--where people buy a diet coke and people cheer for them. So I smiled and waved, and walked on. I heard someone say, "Oops, that's twice." Oh well. Once I hit the big time I'll hire some cheerleaders to greet me every morning when I go to work.

Second one: The Federal building has a cafeteria. I usually see the same woman at the cash register every time I go in there. Today it was a man. He didn't make eye contact with me, which I barely noticed. I sat my milk on the counter in front of him and started fishing in my pocket for money.
     "Whadd'ya got there?" he asked.
     "Oh, just some milk," I answered absentmindedly.
     "Bottle or carton?"
     Now that confused me. "It's 16 ounces..."
     "OK, a bottle. That's $1.50."
I frowned. I looked closely. HE WAS BLIND. The guy working the cash register was blind. I handed him a $10 and said, "Here's a ten." (No, I didn't lie!) He took it and counted out my change from the drawer. I was incredulous. Then he took my $10 and held it up to his face, then put it in the drawer. OK, so he wasn't totally blind. Still!

Third one: in Family Law we were talking about men who contest the paternity of children. Some courts make men the legal father even when they aren't proven to be the biological father, citing the best interest of the child. One student asked how it was in the best interests of the child to force him upon a father who didn't even think he was his. The professor answered, "Um..." and I just blurted out--rather forcefully--that the interst was purely pecuniary, and it was all about the mother getting her child support! People looked at me like they were shocked, like I'd lost my temper. Maybe I did a little. Someone later told me I got red in the face as I spoke. I'm not sure what brought that on. Probably because we had just discussed a case where a man sued a women for lying to him about his paternity under a claim of intentional infliction of emotional distress, and the court said he had no claim because her conduct wasn't extreme and outrageous! Can you believe that? I do get angry when I hear about women who lie to a man about his paternity, take him for his money, and then the court makes him continue to pay it even after her fraud is exposed. No it's not the kid's fault. But it's not the man's fault either. I feel a rant coming on, but I'll stop here. :-P

Now We Serving Sushi Bar

2006-09-01T22:18:00.000-05:00

I found this sign posted at a Chinese restaurant. Once you've been an English teacher, no matter how many years in the past, things like this make you look for a red pen.

Actually, though, kudos to whomever wrote it. English is tough. Check out this site and imagine you were trying to explain this to a non-native English speaker.

Christmas in August?

2006-09-01T22:11:00.000-05:00

At the office building where I've been contract training this week, they put this thing up on August 30. Technically it's not a Christmas tree, it's a breast cancer tree--I guess. It's decorated with pink ribbons. Still. It's too early!

Deja Vu

2006-08-28T16:02:00.000-05:00

As my readers know, my former employer let me go after 10.5 years so that they could give the job to a buddy of the General Manager. Turns out that Wonder Boy doesn't know everything, and they asked me to come back as a contractor from time to time (to be paid at contractor rates). Well, the offer was sweet enough that I took them up on it and this week I am not a law student -- I'm an instructor again. I'm maximizing my time by working a double-shift -- day and night classes for a week. Contractor work isn't steady pay but it's good pay and this week alone will keep me afloat a couple more months.

Is it weird being back here? Just a little... but everyone was glad to see me so it's been OK. If I hadn't been pushed out I wouldn't have ended up interning at the federal court (which I'm hoping will look good on the ol' resume). So I'm philosophical about it.

Blue Man Blues

2006-08-23T18:26:00.000-05:00

The Blue Man Group is coming to Houston. Unfortunately, they're going to be at the Toyota Center, which is the worst place to have a concert. Whoever designed the place was focused more on packing as many people into a small space than on comfort. The rows are so tight that my feet are jammed up against the seatback in front of me and my legs start to go to sleep. Is seeing the Blue Man Group wirth risking DVT? I was thinking it might be, but then I saw that the vendor wanted to charge $40 a ticket PLUS a $30 "convenience fee." So now I'm disinclined to go.

Federal Intern Day 2

2006-08-22T18:36:00.000-05:00

Today I finished up the assignment they gave me yesterday. The clerk seemed surprised that I was finished with it as quickly as I was. I didn't think two days was really that quick, but OK. She said she would look over it and get back to me next week. Hope she likes it because if I'm going to be applying for a clerkship that will be the only writing sample they'll have seen.

This week I need to get a letter of recommendation from the Firm and finish updating my cover letter & resume. I'm stressing about applying for a clerkship. I found out it's a TWO year commitment in most cases, not just one. But I don't have much time to think and rethink about it. Labor Day is coming up fast!

Today they took me with them to lunch. It was $10, so next time maybe I'll stick to the grilled cheese... :-P

Federal Intern Day 1

2006-08-21T22:31:00.000-05:00

So, how did the first day go? For starters, I was the only one of the four interns who chose to start on Monday. So I was there by myself, which actually isn't all bad. There are fewer distractions. Today they had a new clerk starting up, and we were both sitting there reading through orientation packets. They showed me how to get onto the computer system and gave me something to work on. Everything was ok until my supervisor came by and said, "We're taking the new clerk to lunch. See you after while!" Wha? OK, so I'm just going to stay here by myself? At least the Firm took me to lunch on the first day. Bogus! I walked down to the cafeteria and had a grilled cheese. We'll see what happens tomorrow....

Last semester!

2006-08-20T22:01:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow is a big day -- I'm starting both my last semester of law school and my internship at the federal court. I have decided to apply for a judicial clerkship after graduation (but only in Houston, since my daughter (the Boo) is here). I'm hoping that having two judicial internships under my belt, with both state and federal experience at the trial and appellate level, will be enough to get me in with one of the federal judges. We'll see. There is a lot of ceremony associated with applying for judicial clerkships. For example, you must apply on the day after Labor Day. No earlier, no later. Also, you must accept the first offer you get. So don't apply to someone you don't really want to work for! I don't know if it's going to be weird that I'm graduating in December instead of May. I generally don't do things the traditional way.

I spent the weekend with the Boo. We saw Material Girls Friday night, and Saturday we picked up one of her friends and went to see Zoom. After the movie we went to Chuck E. Cheese. I was annoyed because the Friend didn't have any money, and after I paid for her ticket, ice cream, pizza, and Chucky tokens, she was still asking me for money when she ran out of tokens. Ugh! "No more tokens for you! Come back one year!" Boo started complaining of a headache and sore throat. It got worse as time went on and medication didn't seem to help. She ended up sick and spent today on the couch. She's doing better now, though.

I'll try to post tomorrow and tell you how it went. Hopefully they'll feed us lunch!

Law Clerk Day 29

2006-08-17T17:57:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow's the last day of the unpaid internship. The Firm said if I stay I need to move into another room, so tomorrow I'll be moving my stuff. Monday I start the internship for at least two days a week. I also start my last semester, with Secured Financing and Family Law. Today I drove over to the courthosue area and found a packing garage. Parking is going to cost me $4 a day--not terrible. I've seen it as high as $20. I'm parking about two blocks from the courthouse and even though it was hot and dry I was just picturing a cloudy and rainy November morning, and wondering how I was going to get across those two blocks in the rain. Then I found out I had access to the tunnels! So that should help. If I don't get lost.

For those who don't know, most downtown Houston buildings are connected by a tunnel system. It's not as dreary as it might sound. Imagine a big maze-shaped mall filled with gift shops and restaurants but no windows and you have a pretty good idea. I've only been in them a few times and I think it's very, very cool and odd at the same time.

Pink Eye

2006-08-15T05:58:00.000-05:00

Yep. The scourge of elementary school. And I have it. I got on-line to look into home remedies and I found out some people who get pink eye feel compelled to take pictures of their red, swollen, oozing eye so that they can show everyone. I'm not going to do that. What I am going to do is take my uninsured pink eye the doctor's office at 10:00 and wait around for a half hour for them to say "Yes, you have pink eye; here's a prescription and a bill for $50."

Kelsey-Seybold Clinic is up the road and I just called them. They ask me which doctors I normally see there. I don't normally go at all, but one of the doctor's names I remembered was Dr. Paliwala. It's a fun name to say. "Pollywalla." Unfortunately she got married, I found out today, and now she's Dr. Yakoob. That's not nearly as sonorous. "Yakoob" is bothersome because the "Y" is at the beginning and the "B" at the tail end. It looks like it's going to be some other word spelled backwards. And I guess it is: it's bouquet, only misspelled. It doesn't matter; I'm not going to see bookaY .rD anyway.

I have 3.5 hours to kill so I guess I'll go back to sleep....

Company X Revisited

2006-08-14T23:07:00.000-05:00

You get two posts tonight for the price of one.

Like a bad meal or a drunken ex-girlfriend... Company X returns! These are the people who spent an afternoon interviewing me on July 19, telling me how perfect I was for their new position, and then went into radio silence. Apparently now they're drunk-dialing for the hook-up. Emailing. Whatever.

----------------------------------------------------------
From: [Company X Representative]
Sent: Fri 8/11/2006 8:41 AM
To: [Me]
Subject: FW: Request for [Me]- SharePoint Training

Hi,

Good Morning! Please see request below [for SharePoint training]. I am not sure if this class falls into something you have experience with, but T thought we should check. Please let me know your thoughts. Dates requested are below as well.

Thanks!!
----------------------------------------------------------
From: [Me]
Sent: Mon 8/14/2006 11:04 PM
To: [Company X Representative]
Subject: Re: FW: Request for [Me]- SharePoint Training

Hi... Thanks for the offer but SharePoint Server isn't one of my areas of specialization.

Honestly I'm a little surprised to hear from you since S hasn't yet found the time to return my calls or emails since July 20.

[Me]

Law Clerk Day 26

2006-08-14T21:08:00.000-05:00

Today began my last week as a volunteer law clerk for The Firm. So far I've mixed opinions about the experience. I have done plenty of writing and some research, but haven't attended a lot of hearings or trials. In fact, I've attended exactly none in the past two weeks. It's not all their fault. I was supposed to go to a hearing on a motion for summary judgment (that I wrote the response for!) but didn't because that's the day I went on an interview with the county Administration Office. That interview went really well and I liked the people there, but when the judicial internship thing came up, even they told me that was far better in the long run and I should go for it, which I did, and here I am. The Firm has a trial tomorrow and I'm going to wear a suit and try to tag along.

Anyway, today I broke the news to The Firm that I took the internship. I told them that I'd probably be putting in three days a week with the judge and two days with them. And they seemed ok with that. We'll see how it works out. I'll be an hourly wage slave for the first time since I worked at Radio Shack in, what, 1992? I noticed the hourly people "punch in" by placing their finger on a scanner. Daaang. I feel ooold! Back in my day, we had... oh, nevermind.

Apparently the women in the office who wouldn't give me a stamp before have become acclimated to me. Today I even started getting the office gossip! It's the same stupid, meaningless stuff you would expect anywhere, really. But it's nice to be in the loop.

I'm at home tonight (no classes till next week!) and was going to clean the house but I've been laying around instead, Office Space style ("Yesterday I sat at home and did absolutely nothing. And it was everything I thought it would be.") Tonight I'm taking the time to cook dinner. I'm trying to make colcannon. I had it once on a Burns Night and loved it. The other day on a whim I bought the potatoes and cabbage. Now that I've looked up the recipie I found out there are about ten different ways to make it, but I probably should have bought kale instead of cabbage and I should have picked up some leeks and mace for flavoring. Oh well. I guess I'm having American colcannon! If it's good.

Judicial Intern 2.0

2006-08-13T20:01:00.000-05:00

I study secured transactions.
I love my classes.
I got a crazy teacher, he wears thick glasses.
Things are going great, and they're only getting better.
I'm doing all right, getting good grades.
The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades!
- Timbuk 3, 1989 (with some adjustments).

Short version: I'm going to be a judicial intern for the US District Court!

Long version:

Wednesday night I arrived home and got ready to study for my Bankruptcy final. I had an email from the Law Review people announcing that one of the local federal judges was still looking for judicial interns. The judicial internship I did last year was state appellate court (where the trial had already happened) and this is federal district court (where all the action is). I considered this an excellent opportunity and spent the night working on a suitable cover letter (I figured the bankruptcy studying could wait but it never happened). I put an application package together and went to bed. The next morning I wore a suit and at lunch I hand-delivered it to the judge's office. As it happened, he stepped out into the hall just as I was coming up. So I handed my application directly to him. An hour later I had a call from his clerk of the court asking me if I could come in for an interview on Friday. I did, and they offered me the position. They ask interns to put in at least two days a week, and someone I spoke to said I should try to make it three. So that's what I'm going to do.

About a week ago the law firm I have been working for offered to keep me on and let me work part-time or full-time, whatever I wanted to do, with an hourly income. I was grateful and said sure, but we didn't iron out any details yet. I'm going to tell them Monday that I'm only going to be coming in two days a week -- we'll see if they still want to keep me around! :-P

Law Clerk Day 17

2006-08-01T23:11:00.000-05:00

Nothing much to report... I am still drafting documents and doing research. I'm not too happy with the office assistants. Today I needed a stamp and was asking them where I could buy a stamp. Now you know they have stamps. They should give me one. Or sell me one, I don't care. Nope. "I think there's a post office down the road." OK, I see now how it is! So I drove around until I found a place that sold stamps. Just as well; they also did passport photos and I needed one to apply for the bar exam. Still. They better never need anything from me. (They won't, but I still hope they do, so I can send them down the road!)

Since I now have the required photo, I downloaded a program to apply for the February 2007 bar exam. The Texas Board of Law Examiners has a program that lets you type answers into a form. That sounds very progressive but then you still have to print out the form and mail it in along with the diskette (If you work for the BLE and you're reading this, I have a suggestion for you: it's called E-FILING!). I started filling out the form. "HAVE YOU BEEN TERMINATED, SUSPENDED, DISCIPLINED, OR PERMITTED TO RESIGN IN LIEU OF TERMINATION FROM ANY JOB?" Um...yeah...about that... I explained the whole thing and also put down the general manager's phone number. I can only hope they call him and ask him if it's true and he's really that big of an ass. (They won't, but I still hope they do, and I hope I get to hear about it later!)

Law Clerk Day 11

2006-07-24T19:15:00.000-05:00

Today I attended a settlement negotiation with a Plaintiff. He had brought his two sons, 5 and 7. The boys were very, very bored and getting restless. So was I. So I sat out in the hallway with the boys and let them watch cartoons on my cell phone. I think that bought us an extra half hour.

The people at Company X haven't called me back since I faxed in my non-disclosure agreement on Thursday morning so we could schedule that second interview. I left a voice mail Thursday afternoon. Today I sent an email. Still no response. But I called and no one answered, so maybe he's out of the office. I know, I sound like a stalker! I'm not contacting them again.

When we say everything's a dollar...

2006-07-23T10:55:00.000-05:00

we don't really mean it! This sign is outside the dollar store at FM 1960 and Kuykendahl...

Job Interview 2 of ??

2006-07-19T19:06:00.000-05:00

Today I visited with another competitor to Company Z, who my readers know laid me off after 10.5 years of faithful service. This competitor has a much better attitude than Company Y, with whom I interviewed last Friday. "Company X" has a new paradigm they want to implement, and they want to discuss the position with me further, but only after I sign a non-disclosure agreement. They emailed it to me today, and I've read it. I'm going to sign & fax it back to them tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed....

Free food check: Kolaches in the morning and oatmeal raisin cookies in the afternoon.

Law Clerk Day 7

2006-07-18T19:25:00.000-05:00

Today I attended an expert witness deposition. That was pretty interesting. Expert witnesses MAKE A FORTUNE. Imagine in an hour making more than someone's monthly wage. I can't imagine. We stopped for lunch on he way back. The rest of the day I pushed paperwork.

Numbers Game

2006-07-17T19:21:00.000-05:00

Like Johnny Appleseed, I'm casting my resume about into the Internet to see what pops up. I've received a couple of acknowledgments that they got it. We'll see if anything grows. :-P

Job Interview 1 of ???

2006-07-14T20:34:00.000-05:00

Today I had my first interview. It's a smaller company than my old one (even though it's pretty easy to figure out who they are let's just call my ex employer "Z Company") and it competes for business with the one I used to work for. I was supposed to do a technical interview with their head tech guy. As I understood it, we were going to chat back and forth so I could show him what I knew, etc. Wrong! Instead he used the time to ask me whether I had taught all sorts of things that weren't on my resume. I took an instant disliking to him and it really didn't go very well. They want someone who does SharePoint and BizTalk... insanely, they also want someone who already knows Windows Vista (a product that isn't out yet) and Exchange 2007 (another product that isn't out yet). These guys like to teach early-adopter classes on beta software. I'm much more happy in administration than development. My resume reflects this. So why was he asking me about all this other stuff? Argh! Then I got a lecture about how the clients at Y Company are so much more sophisticated and demanding than at Z Company. Give me a break. I have trained the Texas State Auditors' Office, the Texas State Comptrollers' Office, the FBI, marines, police, attorneys, bank presidents, and WAN administrators for Fortune 100 companies. They said they would get back to me but I'm going to consider them a wash and keep looking.

Next interview: Wednesday!

Oh, and yes, I did spend the balance of the day at the law firm and finished everything in my inbox, thank you. I haven't gotten much feedback yet on what I'm doing. I don't necessarily need an attaboy, but I'd like to see something come back other than the "Message Sent" I get when I forward them my work.

Law Clerk Day 4

2006-07-13T19:31:00.000-05:00

One of the Associates brought in a tray of Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwiches. I ate one at breakfast and another at lunch. It was free and thoughtful. But I can't help but make an observation: Chick-Fil-A only make one thing--a chicken pattie on bread. You can get it with biscuit bread (breakfast), with two pickles (regular sandwich), or with lettuce & tomato (whatever they call it!) That's it!

Not much else went on today. Hopefully more to report next week.

Law Clerk Day 3

2006-07-12T19:24:00.000-05:00

Sushi today! Glad I can use chopsticks because there was no silverware! They have me writing motions, and I was going to attend a client conference but it got cancelled. Mostly I sit in a small room with no windows and a big stack of briefs. Once in a while someone comes in--it's never to chat me up or gossip. It's always to drop off something they want me to work on when I have a minute.

I wrote earlier that I had scheduled an appointment/interview for Wednesday. I didn't go. I called the contact guy and he explained what the job was and how it involved travel. I can't travel because of law school. BUT we talked about alternatives. I explained what I had been doing for the past ten years and he got excited about some new program they've been thinking about implementing (and by program I mean business system, not application software). So I'm supposed to meet with him and the CEO next Wednesday. I told him I had a Friday interview as well, and he begged me not to do anything until I talked to them. So we'll see.

It's funny how small the IT training market is. Six degrees of separation? In this business it's more like two. I can call up any training center in the city, and we may not have met but we know the same people. In that respect, I suppose I'm well positioned. I'll know more Friday. And more Wednesday. In the meantime, I'm supposed to be reading for the Bankruptcy class right now. If I don't get busy, I may find that class all too practical! :-P

Law Clerk Day 2

2006-07-11T21:48:00.000-05:00

Today was much less interesting. They didn't buy me lunch. Being unemployed, as I am, I ate a Snicker bar for lunch, with two donuts in the afternoon. I've gone from "welcome aboard" mode to slave mode. Ha! I wrote a motion for sanctions. That was kinda fun. After lunch they brought in a community rum cake and ate it all! Didn't even save me a piece... grumble.

I tried to access a law-related web site and the Internet filter they have blocked me because it thought I was going to an adult site; AND IT REPORTED ME. I know this because the partner forwarded me an email saying "Here's what you were trying to read." The Internet filter had emailed him and told him what site I was trying to access. I'm just glad it wasn't something embarassing. Not that I would do that while I was supposed to be working....

After that was Bankruptcy class. I somehow have to find the time to catch up on the reading.

Tomorrow at lunch there's a career opportunity meeting at a competitor to my former employer. I'm going to try to make it there and talk to them. I have another one of those lined up for Friday.

Unemployment & Internship Day 1

2006-07-10T18:50:00.000-05:00

Today was my first Monday as an unemployed person since August 1993. But it didn't feel like it because I started an unpaid intenship with a small plaintiff's firm. There are only two partners and two associates. They already gave me some work to do, and I rode along to a hearing in the partner's Porsche. He had me stand behind him as he argued his case at the bench. I enjoyed it but I was very intimidated and nervous. I only understood about half of what was going on! One of the other attorneys asked me how long I'd been practicing. Heh. I guess I look old enough.

We had sushi for lunch. My first raw fish experience; I enjoyed it.

I called up a couple of competitors of my former employer. I'm thinking that it makes more sense to work for 6 months to a year in IT and made more money than to take a law clerk's job for six months at 30-40K. So I'm doing an internship while looking for a job AND taking Bankruptcy class... oh, and law review...

I think I will need some No-Doze...

Kicked out after 10 years

2006-07-07T14:28:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I got pulled into the office at work and management made the following observations:

I will probably be leaving within a year, once I get my law degree and take the bar exam.
Very few people can teach the broad range of subjects I can.
They have an opportunity to hire someone now who teaches what I do.
This office ain't big enough for the both of us.

So they asked me to resign in exchange for an extra two weeks' pay and gave me 24 hours to think about it. I called them today and said no, I wasn't going to resign. And waited. No one bothered to call me back, but they sent this email out today, and I thought I'd share (annotated!).

Good afternoon everyone.

I wanted to let you know that over the past few days, we’ve had a few personnel changes that I wanted to make you all aware of.

First, John [that's me] will be leaving [that is, was pushed out of] our organization to pursue his Legal career. He will be starting his 6 week [unpaid] internship on Monday, July 10th and will then be working toward graduation, passing the Bar and then landing with a firm to make his mark on the legal world. John recently celebrated his 10 year anniversary with [the company]. John is always willing to pitch in and do what is asked of him and he frequently gave more than requested. His knowledge in the classroom and his willingness to take on difficult projects will be missed. He has seen many management changes [seven GMs in 10 years] and has hung in there through each one and stepped up to contribute when asked. [This is how we thank him!] John has agreed to be a contractor for us if we ever find ourselves in need of his services. We wish him much success in his new career and will hope to see him in our classrooms again from time to time.

Secondly, effective today, [some one else is also kicked to the curb!]

Lastly, for some more positive news, we will have a new technical instructor joining [the team] in the next few weeks. His name is [Omitted] and he has been an IT classroom instructor for over 10 years. His skill set includes most Microsoft networking classes, [and other stuff John taught]. [He] has worked for me in the past at [other companies] and I am certain he will make an immediate impact with our clients. [Nevermind that he worked at this company nine years ago and was fired for changing an irate student's evaluation].

Please wish John and [the other guy] well in their future endeavors and please welcome [the New Guy] when he joins us later this month. As always, I welcome your feedback. Have a great weekend everyone.

Superman Returns

2006-07-01T14:11:00.000-05:00

My daughter and I went to see Superman Returns. Those of you who haven't seen it yet should definitely go back and rent the classic Superman (1978), if it's been a while. There are a number of references back to that film, in visuals, storyline, dialog, and even the theme music. It isn't necessary but you'll enjoy it more. I've never watched Smallville or Lois & Clark.

I loved Kevin Spacey's Lex Luthor (he was perfect; at least as good as Gene Hackman's Lex), and Brandon Routh evokes Christopher Reeve so well. I do have a gripe, though. Lois was waaay too young! At the opening of the film we learn that Supes had been away for five years. Kate Bosworth (Lois) was only 22 while filming, and she looks it! How can we believe those two have a history when she was only seventeen when Superman left? So she was working for The Daily Planet in what, 11th grade? Here's another thing, but it's kind of a spoiler. Highlight the blank space to read it: We're supposed to believe her son Jason is four and a half or five. The actor playing him looks at least seven years old.

Oh well. It was still a diverting film and a good franchise revival of a film made almost 30 years ago.

I'm not Fat, I'm Fluffy!

2006-06-26T10:47:00.000-05:00

I was annoyed by the headline, "Prostate Treatment Works Less For Fat Men." Fat men? Seems a little blunt, doesn't it? Don't get me wrong; I'm not big on PC speak. But I can't imagine an article entitled "Fat Women have more health problems," or some such.

When it rains...

2006-06-19T12:15:00.000-05:00

Houston floods! I'm comfortably perched on the 15th floor, high above the chaos below. On the bright side, UH cancelled classes for today. I guess I get a couple of days more to study for that HR Management test that was scheduled for tonight.

HR Management

2006-06-14T13:10:00.000-05:00

As some of you know, I am taking a class at the Business school. The law school night program during the first summer session is ovvering EXACTLY the same courses as last summer, which means there's nothing being offered that I haven't already taken. So. I'm taking HR Management with a bunch of MBA types. It's a different world. There are three exams, all of which are rote memorization of definitions or lists of things. Students also have to do a presentation on a trend in HR. We do some each night. I already did mine. I talked about HR and Technology. Other have posted what they're going to talk about on the message boards. Tonight I'm looking forward to hearing about "A model of multinational enterprise subsidiary staffing composition." How very exciting! Unfortunately this is the way some of the presenters speak. I have no idea what they're talking about. Speak English please! Someone wants to talk about "American repatriate employees' retrospective assessments of the effects of cross-cultural training on their adaptation to international assignments." Why not say "Are we properly preparing US employees for work overseas? Some returning ex-pats talk about their experience." Now, isn't that better?

Somber News

2006-06-12T14:13:00.000-05:00

An email went out to the law review group that one of our members had suddenly died while on a recruitment retreat with a law firm. They think it was either a heart attack or pulmonary embolism. I think he was in his mid-40s. He was one of the top-ranked students, and remarked on a few occasions that he wanted to be a judge.

We made fun of him because when he had a comment to make (which happened fairly often), instead of raising his hand he would hold up his pen between his thumb and index finger at about eye level. But his comments were usually sound and showed that he really "got it." I wondered if he'd known his time was up if he'd still have gone to law school, and I honestly think he would have, he seemed to enjoy it so.

English First?

2006-05-30T01:08:00.000-05:00

I saw The da Vinci Code Sunday. It was OK. Not spectacular. There are plenty of websites devoted to the factual errors and misrepresentations in the story, so I'll leave that to others. Here's my complaint, and I haven't seen others posting on this thought: All the clues that they find, like the poem in the box and the keyword for the cryptex, whether devised by Leonardo himself or perhaps by the Frenchman who dies in the film, are IN ENGLISH. That's just stupid. Convenient, but stupid. It should have been in Latin or French.

Ah well. I rather liked the scene where they were walking to the church and talking about Newton's funeral. You could see the ghostly figures attending that funeral in period clothing. I'm not describing it well but it was a nice effect.

As a side note, I'm amazed at the slew of books and websites that exist in response to this story. I was an at the bookstore this evening and saw a tableful of them. The two that made me laugh were Freemasonry for Dummies and The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Masons. Both books' authors claim to be Masons. I looked through one of them and I have to say that the author was much more free about explaining the symbolism and beliefs of the Masons than any Mason I ever knew about! So I wonder if they're really Masons.

And God said...

2006-05-18T07:55:00.000-05:00

Pat Robertson says God told him there will be hurricanes that hit the US coast this year. "If I heard the Lord right about 2006, the coasts of America will be lashed by storms," Robertson said May 8. Wow, Pat! You're a true profit--um, prophet. If you heard the Lord right? Yeah, the Lord mumbles sometimes. However, He gave me the scoop on lunar eclipses: the Americas will see total eclipses on March 3, 2007; Feb 21, 2008; July 7 & August 10, 2009; July 26 & December 21, 2010. I guess that makes me a prophet too.

No sympathy for the devil

2006-05-16T09:41:00.000-05:00

I'm very annoyed that yet another violent murderer has been given a reprieve from his execution. The courts are trying to decide whether lethal injection is so painful that it constitutes cruel and unusual punshment. Give me a break. Perhaps you could deaden the pain with a bullet in the head.

The Internet is Their Playground

2006-05-11T14:20:00.000-05:00

Producers of the popular television program Lost have created a fake corporate website for The Hanso Foundation, a company presumably featured in the story (I don't watch the show, so I have no idea). Although the purpose of the web site is ostensibly to inform people about the Foundation and its efforts, in fact it is a "game" referred to as "The Lost Experience," designed to lure in Lost fanatics hoping for some insight into the secrets behind the show's murky history.

It reminds me a lot of the 1985 Activision game Hacker, which purported to offer the user an interface to a secretive company with a malfunctioning security system. Armed with a password, you start worming your way in, gaining access to secret documents and sensitive information. This works the same way but it's on a massive, massive scale. The game is supposed to be based on, but independent of, the show.

ABC has been airing television ads for the Hanson Foundation, even though it's not a real company. The ad includes a phone number. If you call the number you get the initial password to get into the site. A newspaper ad has been printed as a PSA in some parts of the country, responding to a book that puts them in a negative light. The book appears to be real and orderable on Amazon, even though the author himself is as fictional as the story. In addition to the Hanso Foundation's main site, there are sites for ancillary companies such as Oceanic Air that may or may not be officially affiliated with the game. The problem is, anyone on the internet could set up a fake-out web site to mislead people trying to "solve" the game. There's no way to tell if what you're reading is a part of the game or someone's elaborate hoax to throw you off. Another problem is that the writers intend to drag this game out over the summer, so information and clues are trotted out incrementally. In other words, it's not solvable right now. You have to wait for the next clue.

For these reasons, I don't think I'll have the patience to stay with it. But if you're inteterested, here are some related sites (or at least, some that purport to be related!)

The Hanso Foundation

Lost Experience Blog
Lost Experience Site

Dr. Candle's site
Old Hanso site
Gary Troup Books
www.onentofl.com (some frames on other sites come from this site)
Paik-Heavy Industries
PHI-ERI Blog (encodes things in octal, hex or ascii)
Squidoo
Widmore Laboratories
Valenzetti Foundation
Video clips

Drunk in a bar? You could be arrested!

2006-03-23T11:12:00.000-06:00

According to this article, now Texas is prosecuting people who get drunk in bars. I guess it doesn't matter anymore whether or not you have a designated driver. Why don't they just go ahead and bring back prohibition?

Sufferin' Statutory!

2006-03-21T19:10:00.000-06:00

Funny how two stories are in the news this week. No one is placing them side by side but I'm going to.

Let's meet Lance Cobb from Houston. Lance met a 16-year old girl on-line and they had sex. This same girl met at least three other men on-line for sex. Now he's a registered sex offender and doing 5 years probation. (She's not at all at fault in this escapade because she was under 18. OK whatever; I don't think that makes complete sense but there's a reason for the word jailbait).

Now let's meet Debra LeFave from Florida. She had sex with her 14 year old middle school student in the classroom and in a car. She's getting off without charge because the boy's mother doesn't want to put him through the pain that all the attention that a trial would cause him. The prosecutor is dropping the charges because he agrees it's not worth traumatizing the boy. Do you seriously think for one minute that if it was a male teacher and a 14 year old girl that any prosecutor in the country wouldn't push for a conviction, with or without the girl's participation at trial?

Can't you hear Georgia's Lisa Clark, the creepy looking 37-year old wife of a 15 year-old boy, asking for a retrial in Florida? At least she made the boy honest... Right?

Browsing problem fixed!

2006-03-04T23:54:00.000-06:00

In case anyone out there is experiencing the same problems:

Open up My Computer and all you get is a stupid flashlight
Type a URL into IE Address bar and the page loads very slowly. Type it in through Google and it comes up faster
Logon is slower lately

I have an HP OfficeJet printer and this morning I loaded an update. BIG MISTAKE as all these problems started after that. Uninstalling the patch didn't seem to fix it, though in all fairness I didn't reboot yet. I ended up uninstalling all the HP software that came with the printer, including PhotoSmart, and rebooting. Presto! the problem went away. Only now how am I going to print?

Update: Reinstalling the HP drivers but disabling the startup services seems to have fixed it.

Virtual World

2006-03-04T20:27:00.000-06:00

Today I took up the daunting task of updating my laptop to Windows XP Professional. The main reason I decided to do this was because I wanted to run Virtual PC and it's not supported on Home Edition. Now I know most people say it doesn't matter, it runs fine, but I tried it and every time I started a VM the Function Lock would come on, activating those weird alternate keys like the "embedded" numlock that turns J, K, and L into 1, 2 and 3. I blamed the problem on XP Home and decided to upgrade.

First the machine said that I couldn't upgrade because the running version of Home Edition was newer than the one on the setup disk. I had SP2 to thank for that. So I copied the XP Pro i386 directory to disk and downloaded XP service pack 2, then unpacked it and slipstreamed it onto i386. Setup was happy now and upgraded my machine. After the final boot I started getting weird errors. Oh well, to be expected. Most of them are fixed now. One thing I can't figure out is that if I type a URL in the IE address bar it takes forever to load the page, but if I Google the page and click a hyperlink to the target page, it loads right up. Very, very weird. Also if I pull down the Explorer combo box to select a different drive letter it locks up for about 60 seconds, but if I use the up-arrow toolbar button that doesn't happen. Open up My Computer and I get the flashlight for about the same amount of time. And yes, I've done a virus/spyware scan.

These problems didn't stop me from playing with Virtual PC, though. Last week I was teaching A+ software, and all that talk about DOS and Windows 98, supporting IPX/SPX and NetBEUI made me nostalgic for the old days of command lines and escape codes. (Sick, I know!) So I dug out some old disks I had stashed away and created virtual PCs with Windows 3.1, Windows for Workgroups 3.11, Windows 95, 98, and NT 4. I don't have disks for NT 3.51 or the short-lived Windows ME. Almost everything works except the sound in the 3x images and the network card in WFW. I would have liked to set up a NetWare 3.12 server but that's not supported on Virtual PC. That brings up a complaint about VPC. How can MS seriously consider VPC a competing product for VMWare when 1) they only support Microsoft OSes (not Linux/NetWare), and 2) they don't support capturing the host machine's USB drives? That's lame! (OK, so why didn't I use VMWare? Because I am first and foremost a Microsoft trainer and that's what we use in all our MS classes.)

In a fit of extreme masochism, I was looking into emulators for the PDP-10 running TENEX. I found one, but I couldn't get it to do anything other than give me a sim> prompt. OK, I really need to write a paper for law school. Contrast contract formation under the revised UCC with the current UCC and the CISG. ZZZzzz...

Potshots at Cheney

2006-02-14T07:40:00.000-06:00

I have been amused by the Republican response to Cheney shooting his buddy in the face this past weekend during an illegal hunting trip. It's great to hear all these suits talking about how reasonable a mistake it was and how it was the guy's own fault for standing too close or whatever. If it had been a Dem who shot someone you can bet the story would be spun differently.

Jon Stewart, a genius I wish I got to watch more often, had this take on it:

"Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a man during a quail hunt ... making 78-year-old Harry Whittington the first person shot by a sitting veep since Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton, of course, (was) shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honor, integrity and political maneuvering. Whittington? Mistaken for a bird."

"Now, this story certainly has its humorous aspects. ... But it also raises a serious issue, one which I feel very strongly about. ... moms, dads, if you're watching right now, I can't emphasize this enough: Do not let your kids go on hunting trips with the vice president. I don't care what kind of lucrative contracts they're trying to land, or energy regulations they're trying to get lifted -- it's just not worth it."

e-Bay makes me warm & fuzzy

2006-02-07T10:04:00.000-06:00

Is it just me or is this congratulatory note and the promise of a yellow star somewhat embarrassing? So many people use eBay regularly, I guess most Netizens already know about these notices. I didn't know about them until I got this in my Messages. Can I get a lollypop with that?

Woe unto you, hypocrites!

2006-02-05T17:03:00.000-06:00

The news has been abuzz about political cartoons depecting the Prophet Mohammad with a bomb on his turban. Muslims are furious, but the Christian media appears perfectly happy to reprint the cartoons, knowing they are offensive. When taken to task they merely cite the privileges of a free press. Well. These are the same people who got the Book of Daniel cancelled, and are gunning for Will & Grace, Queer Eye, and even Spongebob--all because they do not fall within the guidelines of Christian values. Free press indeed! The irony makes my head hurt.

Cruel and Unusual?

2006-02-02T07:57:00.000-06:00

I just read an article in the local paper about how the Supreme Court granted a stay of execution for Missouri inmate Michael Taylor. Taylor abducted and murdered a 15 year old girl in 1989. He pled guilty. Now he's claiming death by lethal injection is cruel and unusual, and they're going to delay executing him so they can discuss it. Hm. I wonder how he killed that girl. I wonder whether she had any chance to appeal the way she died. Taylor, who is black, also claims the system is biased against blacks. Hey, Taylor, you did it. It doesn't matter if you're black. You killed a girl and you should die. It isn't nearly enough to make up for what you did, but it's a start. You deserved death in 1989 and you still deserve it today! In fact, why are you still alive? I have no patience for criminals. I would work for the prosecutor's office if I thought I could make a decent living.

Two Thumbs Up

2006-01-31T17:38:00.000-06:00

It's official--my paper is the "best so far" according to the two editors who have reviewed it for publishability. That means I have passed my substantial writing requirement for Law Review and have a decent shot at publication. Most of the changes they suggested were minor--a few uses of passive voice that could go, etc. The final draft version is due in a couple of weeks and is supposed to incorporate the changes they suggest. Because I passed both editors' review, I could just reprint and turn in the same paper. I'll still make the changes, of course. It would be nice to keep my status as "best so far."

I don't have the big head, though. Sitting here in the Law Review office, a 22 year old blonde in flipflops and a t-shirt has been talking about her two upcoming summer internships with prestigious firms. Her paper didn't pass the first go-round. Mine did. She has an internship. I don't. Go figure. Maybe it's 'cause I'm "middle aged!" (Damn that Chinese horoscope!)

Chinese New Year

2006-01-28T21:55:00.000-06:00

My Chinese horoscope: "The year of 2006 is the same animal as your birth year. This year contains sweet and bitter mixed together. Lots of unseen changes are in front of middle-aged Dogs. People born in 1970 will have good opportunities in sales, writing and things related to the entertainment industry. Your personality and impact on your surroundings will be in top form. You should be able to promote your ideas and plans successfully." Who are they calling middle aged?

Man from UNCLE

2006-01-27T11:29:00.000-06:00

I am remiss in not mentioning that I got the coolest thing on New Year's Day. Someone gave my grandmother a trove of videotapes a while back. The collection included a nearly complete set of Man from U.N.C.L.E. episodes recorded off the CBN reruns in the mid-'80s. I had been waiting for the show to come out on DVD (still waiting!) and when I mentioned it to my mother she said "I think we have those." Sure enough. I don't have much free time but I've tried to allow myself at least one episode per week. Open Channel D...

Spring 2006

2006-01-25T10:10:00.000-06:00

For those of you who still are checking my meagre posts, here's an update:

I've finished a first draft of my law review article. It's turned in and I meet with the editor Monday to tell me what he thought about it. If it's good I get credit for the writing requirement. If its bad I have to fix it. I think it's pretty good, but hey, I wrote it.

I've now attended all new classes for this semester and tell you what's going on with them. One is huge, the others are so tiny that the curve is going to suck. Which is very bad for grades. It can mean there will be no As or maybe only one. Indexes are on a 10 point scale and subjective.

Business Organizations. This class is all about the law of partnerships, corporations, and limited liability entities.
Number of students: 99
Interest Index: 5
Class enthusiasm: 0
Professor looks like: Peewee Herman

Sales & Leasing. This class is all about the the business of sales and leases. Basically it's the Contracts class again.
Number of students: 9
Interest Index: 7
Class enthusiasm: 5
Professor looks like: Ted Knight

American Indian Law. Relationships of the federal, state, and tribal governments.
Number of students: 9
Interest Index: 9
Class enthusiasm: 9
Professor looks like: Jimmy Kimmel

Astroworld Auction

2006-01-09T14:17:00.000-06:00

This last weekend Astroworld was auctioning off a lot of signage and other collectibles, including a large windmill, an antique chandelier, and a wrecked Gotham City police car that "decorated" a Batman-themed rollercoaster. I went to the auction, figuring I would allow myself at most $100 for an Astroworld sign. I wasn't even in the ballpark. A two-foot square sign that said "Six Flags is not responsible for items left on dock" went for over $200, and large signs that said "You must be this tall to ride this ride" were going for $1,500 and up. Some of the signs were beat up, weathered by years in the sweltering Texas summer sun. I could not bring myself to pay $200 for a sign like that, so after a couple of hours, I left. It was still fun, though.

Frustrated with Law Review

2005-12-26T10:06:00.000-06:00

I sent this email to the Law Review Chief Notes & Comments Editor, and thought I'd share.

SHORT, CONCISE VERSION:

I still have no feedback on my paper and my editor is AWOL. I am stymied and very, very frustrated.

LONG, RANTING VERSION:

On November 4, I turned in a 56-page draft.

On November 6, I emailed an electronic copy to my editor, [EDITED], at her request. She said she would make comments directly on the copy and email it back to me. At the time you and Michelle both said it would be perhaps after Thanksgiving before I would get back any comments. I said fine.

Thanksgiving came and went. On December 6, she wrote, "After finals ... I truly don’t have time to look at it until after then. You are well ahead of the curve as far as your paper goes, so I think you should have plenty of time to incorporate changes etc. Are you leaving town or anything over the break?" (She's had it for a month and says she will LOOK AT IT after finals? How does she know I'm ahead of the curve if she hasn't looked at it?) Again, I said fine.

Then on the evening of December 22 she wrote, "I think it would be better for you to see the comments. Please let me know what your schedule is and we will plan to meet briefly to discuss your paper. I do not think that sending you comments by email would be adequate or helpful." (I think it would, since I've heard nothing at all for the past seven weeks!)

I wrote her back immediately and said we could meet the next day (Dec. 23rd) but as of 9:30 this morning, December 26, I still haven't heard back anything. It's been four days. I know it's Christmas. I also know people were working on projects in the office on December 23.

It's now AFTER CHRISTMAS and I still don't have any comments. The whole point to getting a draft in early was so I could get feedback early. I wanted to finish this paper before the Spring semester started. It's no secret that students use their break between semesters to get the bulk of the work done. That break is half over and I haven't been able to work on it because I have received no feedback whatsoever about my paper.

In short, I'm feeling blown off, delayed, inconvenienced, and, frankly, PISSED.

Habla Ud. leet?

2005-12-22T21:43:00.000-06:00

Microsoft actually has an article on how to read and write 1337! (In case you don't know, that's not a number there, it's the word "leet" as in "elite"--a peculiar way of spelling supposedly adopted by teen computer nerds. I have seen articles on it in the past but I can't say I've ever seen anyone actually using it. But then, I haven't hung out in chat rooms in quite some time, and I don't text-message anyone in middle school, so what do I know? "ph34r my 1337 5xilz! |\|0\/\/ 1'm 4n 3xp3r7!" D16?

TSO

2005-12-19T12:56:00.000-06:00

Last night Nora and I went to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra perform at the Toytoa Center. Here's my review:

First, whoever designed the Toyota Center should be forced to sit in one of those seats for three hours a day until he repents and publishes a public apology. There is no leg room whatsoever. Your calves can be pressed against your seat cushion and your toes will still be touching the back of the seat in front of you. So your legs start to go numb, and the only way you can move your legs is to turn your feet at odd angles. I hate it, hate it, hate it.

The concert was divided into two parts. The first part was called "Christmas Eve and Other Stories," in which a narrator comes out and recite a bit of a story, in verse, about an angel travelling the world on Christmas Eve. The story he tells introduces the next musical piece, and after the selection ends he trots out to give you a little more of the story. He uses a deep, husky narrative tone that is supposed to evoke a sense of enchantment and wonder, but it mostly comes across as annoying. Honestly, we decided to bolt after the first hour. About twenty minutes later they reached the halfway mark, and they paused in the performance to introduce the band. We hopped up to go. On our way out I asked a security guard about the second half. She said it was much better than the first half, so we decided to give it a few minutes and see if it was different. We're glad we did. It was sooo much better. No story, no poems, just good music and an amazing light show with lasers and pyrotechnics. One of the showstoppers was their rendition of "Carmina Burana," (really--does that ever fail to thrill?). They also played a little of Bach's "Toccata and Fugue in D Minor," Guaraldi's "Linus & Lucy," and other favorites. By the time it was over, we were glad we'd come and glad we'd stayed.

Rant

2005-12-07T15:50:00.000-06:00

New Orleans was one of the top ten most violent cities in the US. And when they needed our help, we were there. Now every day someone in Houston is carjacked and/or killed in an apartment parking lot on the SW side. In all fairness, I can't say what proportion of these animals are from Houston, New Orleans, Mexico, or somewhere else. I don't know, because HPD hasn't caught them. In fact, they recently let a convicted killer on death row escape by walking out the front door of the prison. How many more have to die before the mayor stops talking about it and does something substantial? We could run DNA tests, but our lab is corrupt. Our safe & clear plan needs to be a zero-tolerance, clean-up-the-streets plan. So far the violence is mostly contained in SW Houston and a few isolated pockets. Don't the honest people there deserve protection? Come on mayor! Stop it now before it gets out of control. Spend money if you have to.

Today a fight between New Orleans students and Houston students at a local high school led to 30 arrests. In order to keep things even, they arrested 15 H-towners and 15 NOs. But get this: According to the Houston Chronicle, "Of the 15 Houston students arrested, 12 were boys and two were girls. Thirteen girls and two boys from New Orleans were arrested." I don't know what's more disturbing, that the 12 Houston boys were apparently fighting with 13 New Orleans girls, or that the Chronicle has a profound inability to perform basic math.

Stop the madness!

How to ID Spammers

2005-11-30T09:42:00.000-06:00

People are asking how I ID'ed the spammer in a previous comment. It works like this: when a person registers a domain he or she has to provide contact information. That information is publicly available and can be accessed through what's called a WHOIS lookup. When you go to a website that offers a WHOIS service you simply type in the domain name and it can tell you who registered it. Now, many websites that offer a WHOIS lookup don't give you the registrant's contact info anymore. Here's one that does. Note that sometimes registrants lie or make up contact info, or they've started using business addresses instead of personal ones. But when you do get the individual's address, then that's a bonus! When someone spams your blog, look at the domain they're trying to lure people to and do a WHOIS on that domain name. If you get their home address or email, then you can Google the email address and see if they've been posting on forums... you can get all kinds of personal info. Using the address you can get their property tax info from their appraisal district. You can probably do even more, like if they're a registered voter, but I think that was enough to make my point. In fact, the spammer I exposed a few days ago appears to have changed the WHOIS contact info to a business address. I can only hope I instigated the change. Heh.

Crime rate stats & lies

2005-11-28T10:07:00.000-06:00

According to the news, over the Thanksgiving weekend there were eleven homicides in Houston. Instead of raising salaries for Congressmen and redrawing voting districts, it would be nice to see our elected officials spend that money on increased police forces and plans to turn things around before we end up like New Orleans. Or is it too late? Someone sent me this; I include my own observations, because the numbers are either misleading or wrong:

There have been an average of 160,000 troops in Iraq during the last 22 months, which has a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000. That's disregarding the Iraqi victims--in from May through July this year, there have been reported 1,169 shootings deaths in Baghdad; and reports of more than 70 shootings a day.

The rate in Washington D.C. is 80.6 per 100,000. Actually, according to the Washington Post, D.C. posted a homicide rate in 2004 of 35 per 100,000 residents. Baltimore and Detroit had higher rates -- 43 in Baltimore, 41 in Detroit, according to preliminary statistics. By comparison, Boston, which is about the same size as D.C., had a rate of about 10 homicides per 100,000 residents.

That means that you are 25% more likely to be shot and killed in our Nation's Capitol, which has some of the strictest gun control laws in the nation, than you are in Iraq. No; American soldiers are still twice as likely to be shot in Iraq as a citizen is in our nation's capitol.

Conclusion: We should immediately pull out of Washington, D.C. That's just stupid, but it's true that we should do more to combat crime.

Harry Potter 4--disappointing

2005-11-21T12:28:00.000-06:00

Saturday evening I saw the new Harry Potter movie with Nora. As usual, good special effects, engaging action, etc. But the ending was so weak! I'm not spoiling anything by telling you that someone is sneaking around and plotting against Harry (no surprise there). And when he or she is exposed at the end and gives the Scooby speech ("Yes, I did it! And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!"), look at what that person was trying to do, and at the Rube Goldberg strategy that person put in place to do it, and ask youself if any of it makes any sense. It doesn't. If that was the plan all along there were easier means, right? Sigh.

Those blue uniforms were cute in a drill-team kind of way.

New Laptop

2005-11-13T19:41:00.000-06:00

First, the wireless card went out. Then after a while, the CPU fan sputtered and died. I know this because the laptop suddenly got awfully quiet. So I ran a diagnostic test and here's what I found:

Yikes! For the processor I had, 65 degrees celsius is knocking at the meltdown stage. I checked into replacing the fan and was quoted minimum prices of $250 just to mail it off to the factory. For two weeks. I found one local guy who said he could look at it but it would cost $300 just to open the case and he wouldn't guarantee me any results. I imagined my machine bluescreening during an exam as the processor fried. Grr. So I went to Best Buy, whipped out a credit card... well, you can guess the rest.

SpiderMan 3

2005-11-10T08:08:00.000-06:00

A couple of days ago they officially announced the new villain for Spider-Man 3. As the rumors indicated, Thomas Hayden Church will play the Sandman. He looks pretty good--but we'll have to wait until May 2007 to see how it all turns out. I wasn't so excited about Doctor Octopus but that turned out well. Something about that shirt makes me want to sing the "Blues Clues" song, though....

Happy Halloween!

2005-10-31T10:37:00.000-06:00

This is Boo's jack-o-lantern she made last night. I helped only a little.

Here's mine:

Last trip to Astroworld

2005-10-29T10:32:00.000-05:00

Boo and I went with Nora and Nathan to Astroworld for one last trip before they closed. We got there about 3:00 and didn't know that they planned on closing at 6:00! So we only had three hours to walk around. Boo didn't want to ride any of the rides but I talked her into at least getting on the "Wagon Wheel."

Renaissance Festival

2005-10-25T06:41:00.000-05:00

Boo and I went to the Renaissance Festival last Sunday (October 16) and met up with some friends who work there. She wanted a new costume so we stopped by Kroger. One princess costume and a cape later, we were on our way!